The Summer Camp Hoe Down

C’mon everybody. Gather ‘round. There’s a brand new dance sweepin’ the town. Don’t be late or you’ll miss the fun. The summer camp hoe down has begun.

I haven’t ACTUALLY lost it. But I may be on the verge. I remember feeling this same way back when we were in ‘choosing a preschool’ mode. Then again when it was time to ‘pick a kindergarten.’ One false move and your child could be ruined forever. But no pressure.

Summer camp. The miraculous solution to your summer woes. A fun-time free-for-all. And in Boulder the options are endless. Just like for preschool and kindergarten. Which, on the surface, seems like a GOOD thing. But then you have to choose. And choosing means a massive research project (at least for anal ole me) that lasts for weeks. And you have to act fast or risk hitting the brick wall of “sorry, we’re full.”

Some friends have been known to go cheap and simple. They shop the churches who, for the small fee of your soul, will let your kiddos join the fun for next to nothing. And it may be worth it because last year my one friend’s 3-year-old announced on the way that he was going to stop saying ‘f**king s**t. Score one for church camp. But there is the small problem of having to act like you’re going to join. For each and every one you attend — potentially compromising your inner belief system irrevocably. Or setting your child adrift, floating in a sea of conflicting theologies. But damn, it’s cheap! ☺

Then there’s me. Completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of choices. Making schedules and spreadsheets to create a semblance of order to it all. Taking out a second mortgage to cover the fees. Wanting to finally let Miss 6 try one of the hundred or so activities she’s been begging me for and I’ve resisted — pulling out the ‘she’s too tired from school’ excuse. The ‘I’m against over-scheduling’ rationale, which, when translated, means ‘I don’t feel like schlepping.’

You’ve got yoga at the ashram complete with swimming at the natural springs. Adventures in mountain biking/hiking/rock climbing/kayaking all-in-one. A full booklet of rec center choices — which include great options a stone’s throw from our front door. (Cue the convenience violins.) Exploring animal habitats in the mud and woods and learning to navigate with a compass. Time with the Lady Buffs at CU learning hoops. Science with the NCAR or CU scientists. Horseback riding. Themed art camp at a local studio. Music camp. Theatre camp. Soccer with the Rapids. Hell, I’m tempted to sign up!

But, alas, since summer is now only 2 weeks long…(exaggeration courtesy of Boulder Valley School District who just made the inane decision to change the entire school schedule to accommodate testing. Gotta love that rationale. Shorter vacation for everyone so we can test your kids to their very limits!)

Regardless, we spent the entire evening plowing through the pile. I have 6 weeks to cover since work looms. And at the end of the effort, we had booked 4 of those with Miss 6 anxiously looking over my shoulder. As I clicked the ‘sign up’ button on the last site she said, timidly, “I feel a little shaky inside thinking about trying new things.” OH! My heart! “What is that makes you feel that way?” “Well, what if the teachers aren’t nice? Or the kids?” Hard swallow to clear the lump. “You know, it’s completely normal to feel that way when you’re doing something you haven’t done before. I always feel that way.” “You do?” And yea. I do. But off I send her — to the wolves.

TODAY’S THEME SONG: Square Dance. Eminem. Yippy-kai-ay.