Call me Ava.

Last night I had an epiphany. It came to me during Grey’s Anatomy. The character, Alex, was helping this woman pick her face. As he cataloged character traits that he thought went with each potential face choice, I thought, “I’m Ava.” Someone who’s been through a lot in her life, is fun, but neurotic. So today — all day — I've slipped, “I’m neurotic,” into various conversations and I haven’t gotten any argument. So now I am officially Ava and proud. I am embracing my neurosis (thanks, Mom ☺) and it’s going just fine. At least I think it is…

Now for the rest of the story. First up, I saw the surgeon yesterday. Did I mention that he is young and cute? He’s also married with twins. Details. Regardless, when he asked if I had had any problems — like nausea, etc. — I took a deep breath and said, “Okay, I might as well just say it. I got pretty trashed with the girls a week ago. Too much vino.” He didn’t even blink (love him) and said, “That’s nothing. My wife and I drank a whole bottle of tequila in Mexico last week.” Can I take him home? You never know when having a surgeon around might come in handy. The good news is I only have one more week before I can start running and lifting over 30 pounds. Super! I can’t wait to run down the street with a bag of dog food over my shoulder! As if. At least he took off those damn steri-strips!

Before that, I was in a nearly two hour meeting with left-hand-turn client (reference earlier blog titled: En Francais). The most important tidbit to come from the meeting was a firsthand account that Penny Marshall is bi. I guess there is something to be said for versatility. And it was the ‘80s.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, hubby was handling pick up on carpool day with Beanie in tow. All was going fairly smoothly until he got home and realized he’d never loaded the jog stroller back into the car at school. Just left it sitting there in the road behind the car and drove off. Needless to say, he didn’t answer the phone when I called in the midst (read: Ava also has ESP). He wisely decided to be safely on the other side of wrapping things up before he breathed a word. Good idea. That stroller cost an arm and a leg and we’d been fortunate enough to receive it as a group gift when Beanie was born. If it was gone, it was gone. No re-buy in the cards. Lucky for him, it was right were he’d left it. Safe and sound.

Then, today, I was Ava. About to lose it because the hubby had to leave for work at 6:45 a.m. and I had to do the whole morning shuffle solo. It was a finely turned orchestral maneuver. Shoveling cereal into Beanie’s face while brushing Miss 6’s hair and loading up the toothbrush. Beanie dressed, locked and loaded into carseat. Diaper bag reloaded with crucial supplies. Missing sock retrieved from laundry basket (that has been on the living room floor waiting to be folded for three days). Five pants changes before retrieving just the right pair that won’t cause the belly burn. Picking perfect shirt to match cool new earrings (see Get jeweled link on this page). Beanie blow-out PJs from 2 a.m. wake-up SHOUT-ed out. Recycling carts for both me and neighbors retrieved. Into car and we’re off. Arriving a full 10 minutes early, thank you very much. We even enjoyed some swinging on the playground. Narrowly miss an altercation between 1st grade boys that leaves one crying. Then, minutes before the bell, Miss 6 says, “Mommmy! My back pack!” Oh crap! It’s in the car in the lot on the OTHER SIDE of the school. Geez! Sprint — against the good doc’s orders — to retrieve pack. Arrive back to hand it off just as bell rings. Whew! Then, off to The Kitchen (most favorite restaurant in universe) for mimosas with True Blue (turns 37 tomorrow). Bubble Girl (just broke her foot) and hip friend. And Beanie is famously chill. Love her.

As I am writing, I open up today’s Daily Camera, Friday section. Guess what headline is on the cover? The Bean Scene. Sound familiar? Miss 6 announces that they must have read my blog and used it. Then she adds, “Sometimes life is unfair.” True that.

Ava also reared her head with b-partner. I had convinced myself that she was done with work. Ready to call it. So, in my now well-documented infinite wisdom, I decided to ask her about it. Completely stressing her out, which was NOT the intended outcome. After two lengthy phone calls, we decided it was just spring fever — for both of us — and all is well. That Ava.

Passing on the neurosis: Hubby, as he’s doing tuck in, “Here’s your doll.” Miss 6, “Daddy, I don’t sleep with THAT one.” Hubby, “Okay” as he puts it into a pocket inside her new canopy. “Daddy! It doesn’t go in THAT pocket!” Uh-oh.

TODAY’S THEME SONG: Ava Adore. Smashing Pumpkins.