Flashing boobies and hocking loogies.

It’s still life with hubby: DAY TWO. And I am finally almost over my squeamishness on how gross the hospital room floor must be. Enough so that I am actually letting my computer power cord touch the floor. Progress.

He’s doing really well. A real star pupil at tooting up a storm. (I could’ve told them that.) And it makes him happy to be cheered on for his efforts vs. what he usually gets at home: “Daddy! You’re stinky!”

The nitty-gritty is cancer marker numero uno has come back clear. He can sip clear liquids (graduating from popsicles and ice only). He brushed his teeth. He was able to stand. He is about to be moved to a chair for a sit. (My chair, so I’m on limited time here.) I have a perfect view of his catheter bag and he’s peeing in his sleep. That’s in for three more days at least. Still drugged. No pain. Epi comes out tomorrow. IV is mainlined into his carotid artery, so he gets happy really fast. Doc said we could have pathology results back as soon as today. So I’d say the view from here is rosy, tinged with pee-pee.

We had one scare today when he started to gag on something. He couldn’t speak and I freaked. “Call the nurse!” he squeaked out. Turned out it was a huge loogie tinged with blood that I got to catch in a dish. I wish this was the place where I could say what a trooper I am. How brave. But what I am left with is this: I started to gag and gag and gag. I deposited said hocker into the toilet, rinsed the bowl, finished the duty. But when I returned to the room, he was looking at me. Shaking his head and laughing. I KNOW.

I’ve only had a brief pity party for myself today and, no, you weren’t invited. I, for one teensy moment, allowed myself to feel the ache in my back from sleeping on a cardboard mattress coated in plastic while jumping up every time someone came in to check vitals. And then I indulged a moment of sorry for exposing my boob to that nice CNA (who I’m pretty sure was gay and couldn’t have cared less anyway). Then I thought, “Effit.” I was H-O-T. (It seems sleeping on plastic makes me sweat.) The thermostat in the room isn’t working. So I slept in a tank top. Shoot me.

But now I’m done. I’m back to hubby vigilance. And happy as a clam.

This is the place where I have to go all gooshy. I am so completely blown away by all of you people that it makes me tear up. The messages, texts, Facebook notes, food, offers of help, flowers, hugs, sit-ins, and on and on and on. It leaves me speechless, which is a pretty damned hard thing to do. That’s why you haven’t heard back from me yet. Seriously.

TODAY’S THEME SONG: Waiting. Cake. And you can soak your bread in water. You can soak your bread in wine. It can seem like you are living. Like you're having a real good time.