The Return to Base Camp

So I didn’t win any Parent of the Year Awards this past week, but we all survived. Intact. And that’s saying a lot. We actually enjoyed each other’s company from time to time and Miss 6 learned to ride a bike (mostly). I also discovered my inner domestic diva — whipping up dinners like a bona fide ‘50s housewife without the pearls. (I have to draw the line somewhere.) I think the biggest accomplishment of the week was that Miss 6 and I only exchanged words once. The entire week+. And if you haven’t had the pleasure of a 6-year-old’s company recently, that, translated, means that I might as well of climbed Everest. Un-freakin’-believable.

It was all a blur of hubby working late over and over and me doing the same domestic tasks over and over. I even called Lady Lou (previously referred to as ‘L’) today just to say, “You rock” because she does this FULL time and I can’t even imagine it. If I didn’t have e-mails and con calls as a retreat I think I would have been taken off in one of those highly uncomfortable jackets long ago. (Hey, it wouldn’t be the first time it happened in my family. And Mima, calm down. I’m referring to the OTHER side. ☺)

Today the universe was somewhat restored. Miss 6 scampered off to kindergarten. Happy as a clam. And I gave her a kiss and said, “Good night, sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Yes, it was the morning. And, yes, she was leaving for school. The bad news is that is the SECOND time I have said that during the morning kiss off in the last month. Maybe it’s straightjacket time after all.

But the day went fairly well considering. I reconciled accounts, had con calls, wrote stuff, read stuff, e-mailed stuff, and got paid. Not too bad overall. I even squeezed in a quick errand to shop for EB — the big Sunday festivities that fall the very day after I turn 3-7. I thought I was all hot shit until I arrive at school literally ONE MILLISECOND after the bell and Miss 6 says, “Well, you were ALMOST late and I was going to have to line up along the wall.” Well damn. I just looked at Beanie in the stroller and shrugged. At least SHE laughed…

It reminded me of this time a few months back when I was doing something heroic like making a snack that involved actually slicing apples or something and then raised my arms in the air and said, “I am the BEST MOMMY IN THE WORLD!” (Think Leo on the great big sinking ship.) Miss 6 didn’t blink and said, “No you’re not. Jane is.” You could audibly hear my bubble pop. Jane is my neighbor who is so creative and clever. And Miss 6 jumps at the chance to hang out at their house any chance she gets. (Okay, she IS great friends with the two younger, male Janes — but still…)

So now that we’ve established that I’m a half-ass mom who does a half-ass job at working and homefront duties, I need to go finish my wine. I’m practicing for tomorrow night when the gals are gathering again — in my birthday honor — to imbibe at my most favorite restaurant in the universe.

Other than that and the front page news this week that a Boulder blogger has received death threats on her software development blog, I should be able to sleep well. If any of you want to kill me, just let me know. I may end up doing myself in at yoga tomorrow anyway. Yee-ha.

PS: I heard from my super cool globetrotting high school friend this week. He’s recently married and living in Moscow. So while he drinks tea from a samovar shaped like a chicken and interviews babushkas to determine their immigration-ability, I’ll be here hoping that my blog readers don’t decide to kill me. I guess having a friend ‘with Russian ties’ could come in handy.

TODAY’S THEME SONG: Basket Case. Green Day. Have you ever seen them in concert? I mean really. Just listen to the lyrics. It will all become abundantly clear ☺.